I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, "Jesus, I'm bombing." The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made friends, so I think that's how I got drawn into comedy and obviously I was just some kid at school being silly, so the first time I saw a professional comedian and how smooth and funny the person was I totally got into standup and I would say obviously Richard Pryor was the guy. He's the greatest of all time and then George Carlin, Sam Kinison, Bill Cosby. It's so weird to bring up his name now but leaving out his off-stage antics... you could learn a lot from him.

Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He's the coolest. I've never met The Rock though.

I don't feel like it's a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren't bought and paid for like the Clintons.

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.