I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

I heard a quote once in a documentary about a band that said you're better off owning everything 100 percent and selling 20,000 copies of an album than signing with a record company and selling a million copies. There has never been a truer statement about show business than that.

If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.