You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.

Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.

You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.

Just when I think the human race has been lost to the "what about me" people. I see the best we have to offer helping others.

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey... We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".

I was a dork hunter. That's hard to do. I fell out of a tree.