In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, 'It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.'
Bill MaherThere's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
Bill MaherI'm against suing tobacco companies. I think abstinence is a perversion. I think Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's. I think Vegas was better when it was run by the mob. I think men are only as loyal as their options. I think stereotypes are true and rehab is for quitters.
Bill MaherJust be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.
Bill Maher