This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I Agree'.

I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.

I hear this all the time: 'Obama's policies aren't working.' He hasn't been allowed to put his policies into place.

I ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of five women are better at marriage than being single and would like to be married.

Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.

Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with them. You guys aren't just firearm enthusiasts — you're ammosexuals. And before you try and deny you have some sort of unnatural romantic relationship with your gun, consider this. You're taking it out to dinner! Because it completes you. Get a room.