The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names, like Moonbeam, and Trig.

The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?

What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.

[The Republicans] are always asking the Muslims to denounce their extremists. And I agree with them. But they don't take that note and do it among their own. They don't denounce their own extremists.

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'