New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.

Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge.

In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'