The only silver lining I can find is that British accents aren't sexy anymore.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

I think the reason why more rapists go into the military is the same reason why predators go into the Catholic Church. It's a place they know they can get away with it.

When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?