Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are just straight people who are sinning. They don't want to do it, but the Devil makes them! He targets people like Reverend Ted. That's how it happened. The Devil got hold of Reverend Ted, and Ted said, 'Get thee behind me, Satan! And put it in, gently'.
Bill MaherThere are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill MaherHillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.
Bill MaherNew Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
Bill MaherYou canโt be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesnโt make you a person of faithโฆ, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Bill Maher