I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we want to know what it's about,' it just proves one thing: If you're president long enough, you will one day say something that is true.
Bill MaherIt's nine months before the election and Bush's poll numbers have fallen to the exact level that his father's poll numbers were nine months before he lost to Bill Clinton. Today front runner John Kerry said he's not superstitious, but just to be on the safe side, he's going to start f---ing everything that moves.
Bill MaherIf it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
Bill MaherNew Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. Itโs not their field. Itโs like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Hereโs what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Hereโs what they donโt know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, Iโd join the Tea Party.
Bill Maher