The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.

That's what's so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.

The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.

Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.

I want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the Pope. When I came to Hollywood in 1983, I had one dream. To sleep with Jodie Foster. That didn't work out, but this is nice, too.

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.