I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.

Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.

This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.

I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.

My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!

God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."

The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'