Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan.

Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.