A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.

When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.

If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.

Newt Gingrich...is absolutely for bombing Iran and for lowering gas prices. And I've just to say, you can't be for both. They are diametrically opposed.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.