The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.

I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don't really care if any of them gets shot.

I want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the Pope. When I came to Hollywood in 1983, I had one dream. To sleep with Jodie Foster. That didn't work out, but this is nice, too.

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me?

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.

I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex.