I’m supposed to be all re-injected with yes-we-can fever after the big health care speech, and it was a great speech - when Black Elvis gets jiggy with his teleprompter, there is none better. But here’s the thing: Muhammad Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face.

Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?

A flu shot just compromises your immune system.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are just straight people who are sinning. They don't want to do it, but the Devil makes them! He targets people like Reverend Ted. That's how it happened. The Devil got hold of Reverend Ted, and Ted said, 'Get thee behind me, Satan! And put it in, gently'.

The only way for mankind to survive is for religion to die.