To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.
Bill MaherLook, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.
Bill MaherPeople are very narcissistic. It's not all their fault. We live in a society where there is a magazine for you, a channel for you, a perfume for you.
Bill MaherI urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.
Bill MaherA new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
Bill MaherLet's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Bill MaherNew Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are "same sex" marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.
Bill Maher