Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

It's a good time to say "Oh" and take stock and say, "Gee, how was I ethically this year?" That's the problem with faith, Joe. What it does is it kind of screws up your priorities. Your priorities shouldn't be saving your own ass, which is the focus of Christianity. The focus should be, I'm a good person, and I do that just for the sake of being good. Like the Christmas song says, "Be good for goodness' sake."

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

Democrats are lame. The media is lame. And Donald Trump hasn't even played his war card yet. You know, he could start a war and get a lot of support there.

This is why rational people - anti-religionists - must end their timidity and come out of their closet and assert themselves.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.