Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

False hope really makes you cynical.

A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.

I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it's your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?

You can't claim you're for peace if you're not willing to disturb it.

In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.

When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.