Yes, in baseball when the team stinks, you fire the manager. But you don't fire him because it rains. And you don't let the opposing team choose a new manager for you. And you don't fire him between innings. And replace him with a Viennese weightlifter.

In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'

The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about...Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who don't have all the answers, to think that they do.