Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?

The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.

It would be kind of a tragedy if we got to the end of four years of Democratic rule without having really tried any Democratic policies.

Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.

Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.