I hear this all the time: 'Obama's policies aren't working.' He hasn't been allowed to put his policies into place.

New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.

Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing that men never think is, "Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read."

Mitt Romney, who is on record saying that he would not waste money going after bin Laden, and on record saying he would not violate Pakistan's border to get bin Laden, this week said, 'Of course I would have gotten bin Laden.' Even his Etch-A-Sketch went, seriously?