The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.’

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I'm talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren't. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers.

'The Lorax,'...it's a mythical, woodland creature, right, who's for saving trees. He speaks for the trees because no one else can. Kind of the way conservatives speak for fetuses.

I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.

New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.