The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'

Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.