The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.

There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not "nation-builder."

Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.

There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.

Lip-synching?! Let that be a lesson. If you are in Washington, D.C., and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it better be the NRA, an oil company or a bank.