This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith - 'I'm gonna put a boot in their ass.' If you don't do that, somehow you can't be strong.

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having key deciscions made by religious people. By irrationalists. By those who would steer the ship of state, not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken.

Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who can do magic things, why is it different - so different if it's Superman or the Fantastic Four?

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.

Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.'