New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was in the first place. Let alone his sexuality. What concerns me is adults who read 800-page books about magic schoolboys... and then try to talk to me about it. If I had the slightest interest in homosexuals with powers, I'd be a Republican.

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?

Republicans have pounced. They're outraged. They say, 'How dare you lie about caring for the people who got hurt in the war we lied them into?'

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

I don't want to start a movement that mirrors religion. I don't want to create the church of the non-believers where I'm the preacher and we're all gathering together and reciting things.

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.