I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.

I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.

I was brought up Catholic and we show my mom, my mother, my sister and then I take pains to explain on camera, that there were years after that where I wasn't really religious. I certainly wasn't a Catholic anymore, but I still lived with some mythical man in my head. I didn't really put a name to a face, but I just knew that if I was in trouble or scared I would go, 'Oh God, please help me get out of this one.'

New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same; 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.

There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?