This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.

In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!

'The Lorax,'...it's a mythical, woodland creature, right, who's for saving trees. He speaks for the trees because no one else can. Kind of the way conservatives speak for fetuses.

Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.

All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.