Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake country that was drawn on the map 100 years ago remains?

We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

Tea-baggers love the truth. They just hate facts.

The federal government... announced a plan to spend, like, a trillion of taxpayer dollars to buy out bad mortgages and debt. Wall Street was surprisingly enthusiastic about the plan to save their (butts) with other peoples' money. It was either that, or Sarah Palin's idea to sell it all on eBay.

The only thing I hate worse than prophecy is self-fulfilling prophecy