Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

I don't know if anybody from my tribe of atheists ever thanked [Barack Obama] for giving us a shout-out at your first inaugural, but you did mention non-believers. We appreciate it. Because we do feel like untouchables to a degree.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

Religion is insanity by consensus.

Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.

Every election, roughly half the population votes Democrat and the other half votes Republican. Now, I understand why the Republicans get one percent of the vote - the richest one percent.That other percent, someone will have to explain to me.

Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'