Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake country that was drawn on the map 100 years ago remains?

Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.

People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.

The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.

All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex.