You're not a patriot unless even when you lose, it's still your country.

There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?

A flu shot just compromises your immune system.

Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'

The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.

Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'