This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Democrats are lame. The media is lame. And Donald Trump hasn't even played his war card yet. You know, he could start a war and get a lot of support there.

Scientists say an 8.9 earthquake here could knock down buildings, flood coastal areas... and improve the roads.

I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.

Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.

Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.