Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything to win an election-except get the most votes.

If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.

What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote.

Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.

The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.

It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party - and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be.

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?