Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with them. You guys aren't just firearm enthusiasts — you're ammosexuals. And before you try and deny you have some sort of unnatural romantic relationship with your gun, consider this. You're taking it out to dinner! Because it completes you. Get a room.

There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not "nation-builder."

I can't stay mad at Pope Frank. I just can't. It's a funny situation that I like the pope and Mel Gibson doesn't.

Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?

New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.

Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.

The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.