Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.

The teachers don't know anything. What are the kids going to learn with a horrible education system?

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I was just at the newly opened Creationist Museum in Kentucky.... And they have this exhibit of a giant dinosaur...with a saddle on its back. Because the world is only 5000 years old, so man and the dinosaurs had to coexist, and, of course, we rode them. A theory I thought laughable at the age of eight when I saw it on THE FLINTSTONES!

Religion is bad and drugs are good.

There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.