The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.
Bill MaherIt would be kind of a tragedy if we got to the end of four years of Democratic rule without having really tried any Democratic policies.
Bill MaherNowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radioโyou know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and todayโBenedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap.
Bill MaherFrance... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?
Bill MaherEven somebody like Bill Clinton, who I happen to admire very much, the second he was out of office, I remember, he was interview in Rolling Stone and he said he thought we should have legalized marijuana. And I thought, gosh, if only you were in some sort of position to affect change in the last eight years where you could have done something about that.
Bill Maher