The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.

What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote.

Death is nature's way of killing you.

Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of 'Old Yeller.' The state of our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'

Denying racism is the new racism.

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.