At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!

Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to beef with broccoli. The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.

If you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you're a dumb-ass. And if you can look at the deficit and not see that the problem is that the rich stopped paying taxes, you're a Republican.

We're always on a tightrope. We're trying to put together people who don't make sense to be together, talking about issues that are sensitive and controversial. We're mixing dangerous chemicals on a nightly basis.

I have a theory that the Internet makes people stupider. And Also FOX News makes people stupider.