At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.

Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde airhead.

I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t.

I think the reason why more rapists go into the military is the same reason why predators go into the Catholic Church. It's a place they know they can get away with it.

When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.

God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."