At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.

To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'

It's nine months before the election and Bush's poll numbers have fallen to the exact level that his father's poll numbers were nine months before he lost to Bill Clinton. Today front runner John Kerry said he's not superstitious, but just to be on the safe side, he's going to start f---ing everything that moves.

When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when they were in office.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.