Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.

Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

The teachers don't know anything. What are the kids going to learn with a horrible education system?

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.