It just seems like atheists are not included in the basket of diversity in America, which is odd because we are the biggest minority. That is a bigger minority than any other minority you can name.

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."

Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.

Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.

Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo - those were the three guys who said they do not believe in evolution. The irony will be on them when their campaigns die off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?