I was at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards one year - they called me up when somebody canceled two days before the thing, and asked me to present some awards. So I went, and one of the funniest film moments I've ever had was when they introduced the New York film critics. They all stood up - motley isn't the word for that group. Everybody had some sort of vision problem, some sort of damage - I had to bury myself in my napkin.

It's much harder to play beloved than to play a rotten guy. Rotten guy is a piece of cake. So playing a beloved person really sets a high bar for your behavior and your acting and what you project.

To people who want to be rich and famous, I'd say, "Get rich first and see if that doesn't cover it."

My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses

Every moment that you share someone else's pain, feel what they feel, makes you more human.

I'm just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that's what they pay me to do.

The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.