I don't really read the reviews, but I remember one a long time ago I read that said that I had a face like a potato.

I'm not an ungenerous person; I don't resent it. It's just sort of a head-scratcher.

When you see grown men near to tears because they've missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.

I don't answer fan mail. I don't have time for that. It's like hundreds of thousands of people who think they're going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don't have time for those idiots. I've got stuff to do.

The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing.

All of us kids ended up 'doing Mom.' There are four of us who've tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.