There are a lot of actors that are more talented than me at Second City who quit it before they even got to a paying status. Weird luck. I had no other option.

Well it's hard to be yourself, it's the hardest job there is.

I really don't know what's going to come out of my mouth.

My favorite thing about New York is the people, because I think they’re misunderstood. I don’t think people realize how kind New York people are.

I will be in Orlando during the atheist convention to do my best to counter the assaults upon Christ of the atheists. I also plan on running a large newspaper ad in the Orlando Sentinel addressed to the atheists and warning the Orlando area of the atheists' vile plans for their children.

The truth is, anybody that becomes famous is an ass for a year and a half. You've got to give them a year and a half, two years. They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.

The automatic things you do are basically those things that keep you from doing the better things you need to do.