I've been lucky, I've had movies that made a lot of money, so I don't feel like I have to kill every time out. I don't want that pressure. I don't need it.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

You work, you get paid, you drink.

It’s fun to watch someone like John Goodman, and yet it takes work. People say ‘he’s not acting, he’s being himself.’ Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.

I have a brother who gives socks for Christmas. He gives socks. Every year, I get a pair of socks from him.

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

I will be in Orlando during the atheist convention to do my best to counter the assaults upon Christ of the atheists. I also plan on running a large newspaper ad in the Orlando Sentinel addressed to the atheists and warning the Orlando area of the atheists' vile plans for their children.