Yeah, I'm obnoxious, yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I'm rude. You know why? Because you're busy.

You can't be a real man if you don't look out for your kids. They need you.

Our philosophy is we call it as we see it. Sometimes you agree, sometimes you don't. Robust debate is good.

Yeah, I'm obnoxious, yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I'm rude. You know why? Because you're busy.

President Ted Cruz is going to send the feds to his house, take him out and put him on a plane.

You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.

And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called 'karma.'