I don't mind the high price of stardom. I just don't like the high price of mediocrity.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.

I try not to kid myself. You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous.

I don't break the rules. I merely test their elasticity.

How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.

If U.S. Grant had been leading a team of baseball players, they'd have second guessed him all the way to the doorknob of the Appomattox Courthouse.