How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.

I don't want the natural athlete -- I want a guy who'll go after the hard ones.

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.

I believe in God, but I'm not too clear on the other details.

How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.