My guess is that the editor [Cincinnati Post] wanted his own Jeff MacNelly (a Pulitzer winner at 24), and I didn't live up to his expectations. My Cincinnati days were pretty Kafkaesque.

I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.