Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.