My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.

I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

I'm a man of few words." "If you read more, you might have a larger vocabulary.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.