The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an "elite" class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.

I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet the deadline, they don't care when I work or how I work.

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.